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Sunday, May 17, 2015

What This Firefighter Wife Does with Clay To Help Kids Blows My Mind!

Using Clay To Help Families


It is heart wrenching when children miss parents, but especially when they are gone long or often while serving their communities, like firefighters, police, or military. That's why when you see what one inspired and passionate firefighter wife does with some clay, love, and some creative genius to ease the pain of some kids, you will be beyond happy you did.

 With a little imagination,  pixie dust, and firefighter inspired fairy doors, she is connecting children with their parents all over. Fly on over to Backlund's Backlands and see all the magic happening. you might want to bring a tissue! A few doors definitely might make you tear up!

 Yes, that is me, smarty pants. Anyone else totally sick of titles like blow your mind bla bla la?! LOL. Me too. Gotcha! But for real only about the annoying title part. If you love children and ending world hunger and world peace you better hurry up and go there and like the Backlund's Backlands FaceBook Page, before terrible things happen, like the fire fairies blow something up again. ;)

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Funny People Can Hurt the Most: Robin Williams Possible Suicide Will Shed Light on Firefighter Suicide and Depression

Yesterday the shocking news of Robin Williams' possible suicide has struck a cord with people suffering from depression, anxiety, and PTSD, like firefighters. It was a shock to some that the comic genius Williams was a sadly tortured soul.  Often the funniest people are the ones with the deepest wounds. Much like many sad endings they can change the way the world sees things, like he already has so many times. Once again he can shine light an another stigma, the one that surrounds reaching out for help.

I hate even saying reaching out for help. It hurts too much to even think about reaching sometimes. Your body doesn't want to move out of the spot you are in. It literally hurts to think of moving your arm to another person, it is more like sharing your human-ness. You're unique scars and wounds so we can heal them up together. The way we were designed to. I feel we weren't designed to heal on our own.

Felt Like He Was Family 

Like any child of the 80's I grew up hearing him call, "Gooooooood mooorning Vietnam!" and jamming to music in that movie. I knew every single word to Aladdin. I cried at Mrs. Doubtfire. He saved my from Captain Hook as Peter Panning. He was like my Dad too. Like him, I turned many of my enemies into friends with laughter. Including myself. I wish he could have kept doing the same.

Pictures showing favorite roles flooded social media. I was able to keep it together. I distracted  myself from the thoughts I knew would try and stab my heart with worry. I am married to a firefighter. I feel we have both suffer from depression. I have/had postpartum. My husband is a firefighter, an officer, and was on the fire investigation team. He has seen a lot. Though he says he is fine. Suicide is #2, next to heart related deaths at #1 for firefighters.  Both are totally preventable.

What happened???

What makes a person click from being fine, to shocking the world with one day not being there. Leaving everyone asking, "What happened? He seemed so happy." Did you have these thoughts too?

 As the day went on, I wanted to make sure that doesn't happen. What are the signs? I know how our lives seem from the outside. I also know how hard we fight in this world to stay sane, if you know what I mean. No one knows what we are going through. Because we hold it together really well. Because, of course, like any couple, we fall apart really well together when we need to. We have been one of the lucky ones, we just keep holding on, while the right weapons to stand strong on have found us. Each time making us stronger once we come out of the issue at hand. It is what happens while you are going through those unavoidable issues of life that brings that concerns me. Does it you? Here is a hot line that is free and confidential from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255.

You see Robin Williams touched millions of lives since he was real in his comedy. We could look in his eyes and see sadness, joy, struggle, love.  Most thought he was just a really good actor. The character trait that I admired most of all was his self acceptance. I guess he really was a good actor.

I tried to stop thinking about it because we are also actors, my hubby and I. Creators. Artists to our core. Why are artists so tortured? Our dream is to be someone like Robin Williams. This amazing artist who was able to help the world, to radically change it for the better, by having the courage the audacity to be who God created him to be. Like Tim Allen. Even Tim Burton.
Perfectly imperfect, and using it to help others.

I hope to help you keep doing that Robin, if this was indeed your last act.

My husband put it perfectly when he cried out, "Who has hope if he couldn't figure it out?"
I guess that is the big lie of life, that people actually figure it out. That everyone else is doing well, while you struggle. The big reality is that we all struggle, hurt, and cry. There should be zero stigma around our faults, and especially our want to grow, change, and get better.

My hubby actually didn't believe me when I told him. He went right to where all accurate information comes from, Google. I prayed he would find that it was one of those celebrity rumors you hear about, like when I was 12, Zach from Saved By the Bell died and I found out it was fake. I prayed it was the same. Instead he found this from our President.

President Barack Obama

"Robin Williams was an airman a doctor, a genie, a nanny, president, a professor, a bangarang Peter Pan, and everything in between. But he was one of a kind. He arrived in our lives as an alien- but ended up touching every element of the human spirit. He made us laugh. He made us cry. He gave us immeasurable talent freely and generously to those who needed it most."

Tears shot out of my eyes sideways at the Peter Pan part. That is my favorite roll. Next to When Dreams May Come.

My friends at Firefighter Behavioral Health, who fight to prevent suicide agree.

Yesterday they said,

"There was a guest on CNN who said of Robin Williams, that he could ring laughter to millions but never could he find laughter or peace in his own life. This seems very similar to FF's and EMT's. We provide help to people we don't even know during a crisis in their lives, yet when we are suffering we find it difficult to ask for help. Overcome what our culture dictates and reach out brothers and sisters. If you are struggling with issues in your life extend your hand for help."

"With the death of RW by suicide, it solidifies FBHA's mission to provide awareness and prevention.Our focus is on firefighters and EMS but it doesn't stop there. If you know of someone suffering, there is help.This is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-27-8255. #RobinWilliams."

YOU are loved. You are worthy. You deserve to be happy. 

Happy Thought

Right now I want each of you to think of a happy thought. Shut your face and just do it. Think of one thing that will keep you going no matter what. A moment. A promise. A gift. A dream. A kiss. A child. A spouse. A sibling. A parent. A friend. Your why. Can't think of anyone? Perhaps this is your chance to share your human-ness. Your unique story. Your crazy little life might just be what someone else will connect with, giving them the courage to keep going. 

When you are feeling low, surround yourself with that happy thought.  Just like Williams taught us to. I pray that we can all find that Happy Thought.


What is your happy thought? Please write them in the comments below. As always the best discussions happen after the posts, in the comments, or on my Holy Fire Cake Girl Facebook page. Be sure to share this now on FB, Twitter, Instagram, and all your other little pages. You never know who's picture perfect life is cracking away under the surface and needs help.

Once again here is the free and totally confidential number to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255.

Robin, may your light spread and dissolve any stigma around reaching out to prevent suicide in the strongest around us, like firefighters, military, and our loved ones who carry the weight of life.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Getting Ready For the Flame Fest Firefighter Couple's Ball

This will be the second official year will be having their annual firefighter couple's convention Flame and this Holy Fire Cake Girl is exploding with anticipation! Wooo #Flamefest14 Here I come baby! I am so excited I might just do a flying firefighter slash ninja kick flip right now. Last year's was as awesome as the crème brule I had,

and this year is bound to be 100 times better. PLUS, I found THE perfect dress to do it all in.

I can barely sleep thinking of all the things I have to make, clean, organize, let alone all the things that await. Last year was AMAZING! Lori and the crew at have really out done themselves with this weekend's agenda. With the amazing line up of speakers and sponsors, like Money Saving Mom, Marriage experts the DiLorenzo, The, Behavior Health Consultants,  E3consultants, and of course the ever insightful and inspiring Lori and Dan Mercer, this is sure not only to be a huge party, but life changing as well. Plus, I will have the insiders perspective right here for you! Stay tuned to my Face Book and Instagram to stay up to the minute on all the excitement. Raffles. Amazing food. Music. Laughter. Tears. Grab Bags! You know how I love to create! Well, chasing another long time dream,  I started making ceramic fairy doors at Backlund's Backlands. (LOVE the name right?!)

Inspired by all the love I have fore firefighting, I am making thee awesome fairy doors I have designed out of ceramic firefighter helmet shields to put in the grab bags! Grab bags aren't the half of the value either. SO much I can't even convey. They are even having a touch a truck event!!  Seriously, I need some advice on that! Like do I need snacks, a pee bucket or what?? ;)

I am beyond humbled and honored to be a tiny part of this amazing group of women. I get to blog a bit, help write books, and just be a part of an amazingly special group of women that bless me every day just knowing them. AND I actually get to hug them in real life in 5 days!!! You have no idea how I neeeeed that hug! We have been through so much together in the fire service this past year, even if only connected online. The hope of the crew and I at and in the exclusive Sisterhood, want nothing more than #Flamefest14 to strengthen and secure firefighter marriages all over the nation.

On the 4th of July I had the opportunity to make a last minute wedding cake. See!? Not too bad!

I almost didn't do it, but it gave me the extra cash to go SHOPPING! Thank God for sales. I wish they gave firefighter discounts too! LOL

What so you think of the three dresses!? Which would you have picked?

If you are a fan on my FB page you'll know what I did pick. Otherwise you'll have to see!

I'm super pumped to get some time alone with my firefighter.  He is so on the go, I am not sure if we would take the time to take a just us vacation this year. Thank God for they are doing this just for us!!This will be so much better than the awkward Christmas dinner I'm used to. Maybe he will wear his class A's. Mmmm!

I think he is going to LOVE them. I'm going to pair them up with a pin up hair do I think.
Since I have my dress picked out now I could call my bestie hair dresser for an at home cut. Aren't I lucky!?

Here is a sneak peak.

Bwhaha Oh baby!

What are you doing to get ready for the firefighter couples convention called Flamefest?

Friday, April 11, 2014

Released Today! How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: Reigniting Your Love's Fire

Today is finally here to get your copy of How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: Reigniting Your Love's Fire.

Someone pinch me.

I am very honored to share my story in The Fire Wife Academy of how I went from dreading night time, avoiding the advance from my hot firefighter, to having 27 Days of healing amazing sex with my husband. Sounds like a blast? Well, it wasn't at first... but with the 27 Days Challenge that is laid out in the new eBook is designed to reignite those choking embers into a fiery inferno of pleasure and a stronger marriage.

Here is a blurb from a post  from

"In How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: Reigniting Your Love’s Fire, I share my very personal story and explain exactly how I put the flames back into our marriage. Get ready to fire it up yours too, with the lessons I learned in the my story, personal relationship secrets, and my romance tips. Follow this unconventional challenge I used to save my marriage with sex. I hope 27 Days make you laugh, inspires, and gives you the confidence to reignite your marriage too! Simply follow along to rekindle your intimacy with your man. Don’t be caught wishing you had."

Hear what Lori Mercer, head chief and owner at, says about this new bold book:

"Today is always a good day to reignite those love fires.  And on this day (Friday April 11th) ((((TODAYYYY!! EEEE! That's me saying that. ;) ))) you have 2 good ways to do so.

 #1 It’s the LAST DAY to get access to all 6 Dating Divas Marriage Makeover Conference Speakers for ONLY $37 – Click here to register

#2 It’s the day we release our newest eBook “How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything:  Reigniting the Love Fires”

 "46 (single spaced!) pages where this fire wife spills out her story with raw emotion, passion and a witty style that just keeps you turning pages."


"PS – if you are a Fire Wife Sisterhood member you always get 50% off Academy programs and if you register for the Divas Conference above, you get this ebook and a second one for only $7!!!"

"Do you think this is a book just about sex? We don't want to shock you like that. It's about being in a pit in your marriage and doing everything in your power to dig out and bring the love back. It's about commitment and honesty and falling back in love with your self and your husband."

"Available at this link:"

and she boosts:

"Have you ever had sex with your husband 27 days in a row? That's not as easy and exciting as it sounds, especially if you've been in a slump. But sometimes it's exactly what we need.

This Friday you can read the whole personal account by... Holy Fire, Cake Girl as she has bared her soul for the benefit of helping others through that season.

Lyn shares:
"Between my husband going through firefighter academy, starting our own business, and having a new baby it was easy for the days to have turned into a week. Then when I found myself hiding in the bathroom until I was sure he was asleep, I knew I needed a major 180 in the intimacy category. "


Are you ready to champion up? Fire it up today.  Get started on your 27 Days Challenge now.

Thank you all again for all of your support it I pretty crazy to feel like you are outing your self out there for all the world to see. My prayer is that it help couples all over, not even just in the fire service. Marriage is a dying breed anywhere. Most agree in the fire service it is about 75%. If you like what you see, like and share this with your friends. You never know who it might reach. Then follow me on FaceBook at HolyFireCakeGirl or where I live (LOL) at

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Announcing! How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: New EBook

I'm Spilling it All in How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything 

Spring is finally in the air where I live Holy crap that was the longest freaking winter I have ever lived through. My pipes are huge from shoveling. Sweet right? LOL

This winter I have also especially been living a hermit's life writing this seriously awesome eBook. Sort of the opposite of my normal running around fire fighter wife life.  I have missed everyone and I am super pumped to stick my neck out there, in more ways than one, into the spring light. This REALLY IS the perfect time to have a book release about the power of sex.

I am cracking up as I write this.

Not that this is a laughing matter, but in TWO days I am gong to be revealing more of myself to the world than I ever have. AND you guys know I share a lot here. When I get nervous I giggle. Like bad. Needless to say everything is making me giggle Don't you dare go on FB land and try to get me to laugh either, I can't take it!! My head is going to explode!!

So my lovely, lovely hotties you, I am REALLY going to need your support here. I swear I have been quiet for good reason. Hotties, don't fail me now!! ;)

If you have ever liked, shared, commented, or followed anything I have written, all of that work has lead to this crazy moment.

I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for standing by me.

There were times when I felt like no one was listening except my Mom. And then I wondered if she even was. LOL. I know that 350 some odd FB fans may not seem like a ton to anyone. But I would rather have each and every one of you, then 300,00 fake ones. (Even if only 4% of you get my stuff Thank you FB and your fabulous rules. :) )
With out all of your words of encouragement, and pushing me to write and share more, there I no way I would have written this.

Here come the goods.

How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: Reigniting Your Love's Fire is a book where I bare my heart and soul, sharing my story.
I was depressed. Post partum. My hubby had just joined the fire department and was going through Fire Academy. Which meant a full time hours for that. We had just started an asphalt company after the failing car industry ate our finances. And our lunches. I had just had my second baby. We lost our house. Moved in next to family. We had no money. My hair was even falling out. I felt ugly. Alone. Exhausted. I joke here in this post that it was "The worst year of my life". Although it just wasn't funny at the time.
On top of that he was a super crabby mess from lack of sleep, high stress, no time at home, loads of work to do everywhere he went, and the pressure of passing classes tests.
I was also a crabby wreck.
I was spent.
The last thing I wanted to do was give it up.
Can I get an Amen to that if you have ever felt this way??
I was desperate for something to change for fear of losing him.

Since then I have seen huge things happen in my marriage, and the least I can say here, s that we are both much, MUCH happier.

If you desire and pray for a deep change in the intimacy in your marriage, this book might JUST be what sparks that fire back in you and your spouse.
This book is among a series of eBook written for called
The Fire Wife Academy. See the sweet things she says about the book being released here. <3

 If you remember I had the huge honor of helping with the first one The End Of Worry Fear and Sleepless Nights. It has helped so many of my sister become stronger, I was super pumped to share my 27 Days Challenge to fire up love lives. My number one mission is to help strengthen fire marriages out there, and putting myself out on a limb (and Faith) seems like a total logical way to do just that. Who better to ask than a firefighter wife right?
I hope you feel that fire too!

How 27 Days will be available April 11th through Fire Fighter Wife.

So share with your friends everywhere who might be in slumps too. Who doesn't need some fire in their bedroom right?
Again, THANK YOU for being you!
I adore you!
AS always I'll be at my HFCG's Face Book page and in the Fire FIghter Wife Page. Though I usually hang out in the secret one you have to be a member of so we can get real. :) Give a shout out ether way and tell me what you think!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Detroit Mutual Aid Mission Attack


Cake Girl Goes Home with Detroit Mutual Aid


This weekend I was honored and blessed to be a fly on the wall at many of  Detroit's Fire Houses, by being a tiny part of something huge. I got to tag along with's Lori Mercer and help with her Detroit Care Pack Mission. We all know no one throws a party like a Firefighterwife party, right? I mean just check us out with these extraction tools! Makes you want to pitch right in! was asked be a guest of the National Firefighter Endowment, and join them in spreading some true love to our firefighting brothers in Detroit. We did what we do best, united and spreading the love! Wives all over the US came together to collect donations, make crafts and cookies, so we could  give warm fuzzies to the fire families, as a bonus to what AMAZING things that NFE was already doing. Even our tiny town's Hamburg Township Fire Department wives got together to make some items! A sisterhood member even drove over an hour to help! (Thanks Rebecca!) They sold Detroit Mutual Aid T-shirts to raise over $60,000 with t-shirt sales which was then leveraged with partner vendors to bring approximately $150,000 in new gear and equipment to Detroit.


The firefighters were so touched that wives like us, thought of them and their families that they leave behind each day to fight a new a dangerous battle.

If you follow me on FaceBook or Instagram, you saw this live as we traveled through the city. The National Firefighter Endowment to deliver equipment to these very deserving houses, Detroit Mutual Aid.

When I heard that there was a chance that I could help in any way give back to the city that raised me to be the brazen, tough, spunky, quirky, sarcastic, determined, surviving soulful singing girl I am, I was ecstatic to say the least.

Burning City

The city I knew, that we had to leave behind, was a place of strength, of enginuity, of pure industry and survival. Tough like the steel it produced in its cars. Yet at he same time, it was an enormous place of joy, love, and beautiful as the songs it birthed. All surrounded by red privacy fences and mall strips of grass and your one tree per yard, ours was the prettiest on the block in the fall. My heart nearly broke when we moved to the country. What else is a family to do when under attack, but run to safer ground? Well my 13 year old self wanted to fight, there in the battle grounds.

Well, my 34 year old self, can fight in another way.

Determined, leaving my sick kiddos behind, I put on my snow pants, except that they aren't pink anymore. I bobsledded my car through freezing temps and record snows, passing by pin outs and car accidents. Nothing could stop me from getting a chance to thank my brothers, and join arms with my sisters.

If you have ever seen the movie, or the trailer for BURN, this is what I am talking about. Our brothers, the men our husbands work with and depend on, are fighting a city burning down, while people shoot at them, without proper safety gear and equipment.

In all they visited 14 stations, 2 of which were shown in the Burn movie. I got to talk to Chris Palm, and several other who shared similar stories. People steal equipment right off the trucks. They come for food, we give it to them. Then, they make fake calls, and run in the opening doors to steal food, gear, and equipment. We talked about how sad it was, how torn your heart is for the need of the city, and of the station to save them from themselves. "The other day," Chris Palm pointed to a corner of the bay, "We backed the truck up and found a guy sleeping right there."

  Here is just one example of the beauty that lies here in the ruins and hope of a burning city. This old station actually faces the new one, surrounded by boarded up houses. ne of the firefighter here told me the neighbors paint pretend drapes on the boards to cheer up the atmosphere of the surrounding homes.
Driving through the city blocks was haunting in a way. I could hear kids playing, building snowmen, throwing a fat snowball at another, but there were no children to be seen.

In fact there are blocks upon blocks of beautiful old houses, taken my the streets, but still standing like a proud old man. Blocks of burnt, or half standing abandoned houses, with maybe one or two houses with residents in them. Gorgeous brick work, and architecture, make me long to jump in a time machine, so I can see it in its former shining glory.

Then, like little sparks flying up from a fire, little flickers of hope would rise in me. Powerful graffiti, with gorgeous and triumphant styles would peek out in between alleys. Alleys that are vacant to the passer by, but full of hope and perseverance to me.

This what runs in the veins of the Detroit Firefighters. Hope and perseverance. They are battling this city a blaze against all odds, and they do it with the grace an humility of a knight.
 They showed such a gracious, humble, appreciative side, I have been blessed beyond all measures to see.

 The knights in the patches, badges, and faded axes.

"It's been a long time since we've seen yellow on an ax." one Captain said. 
My eyes swelled with tears many times over gloves, flashlights, things our men don't think twice about. Tools that bring them home safe. Ones that every firefighter should have the RIGHT to have. That is NFE's mission, to help bring them home safe.

 Some Detroit VIP's, eager to show their appreciation for what NFE did too!


I mean who can say no to that face???


Who didn't want to be a fireman when they were growing up?!

Who's hearts wouldn't be full?!
Shane, from NFE,  THE Dan and Lori Mercer, and Me!
Kindness is contagious.

 Of course, as any good baby blogger would, my second favorite part was watching all of the "Big Wig Stars" of the fire world come together in real life was awesome.

Here is Rhett from The Fire Critic. My bestie Lori Mercer from and her daughter!
There Lori and I are in front of a gorgeous motor city old school car. 
There with that amazing 'stach is Captain Willie Wines from Wooden Ladders and Iron Firemen. Ladies, both men love kilts almost as much as me. Plus they are stand up firemen with hearts of gold for this service and the well being of its people. Even The "Model City" Firefighter was there! I was like a groupie at a DTE music concert.  If you haven't go checkout there blog and subscribe today!

I felt like the dork tagging along, snapping pictures of the crews even, but I don't think anyone cared!
If I broke any baby blogger rules, no one told me! ;) 
Here is Channel 7's interview! Click Here For News Cast or Here!
 IF you didn't know, LIKES and SHARES are my LOVE language. ;)
Come sizzle on over to my Facebook page Holy Fire! Cake Girl!!!!
Thank you beautiful Detroit! The BIGGEST thank you goes to all of YOU who helped create craft, bake cookies, and shared all of those t-shirt promotion for #detroitmutualaid!

 If I actually get this published in time, tonight is the VERY last night you can purchase a #Detroitmutualaid t-shirt to help raise future funds too!
  You've got two hours! GO!!
<3 All my fiery heart
Lyn AKA CakeGirl