Being a firefighters wife is a tough bit. Four years ago my husband asked my a question that would change my life forever. Can I be a fireman? At this point in my life, all I wanted to do was scream, "No! Are you crazy?", but he knew that is not what I would say. By then I had read a few hundred people skills and success principal books, that I knew I could not answer no. What kind of wife would I be? Well, one that loved her spouse very much. One who already had one small child, with another on the way. Also one who knew her husband. That he needed to be who he felt God was calling him to be. Any warrior needs to be a warrior, or he will just shrivel up and become a waste of himself. Like a sun bleached flag, torn and waving in the wind. I also could feel the princess well up inside my throat screaming, "I know you my hero, my love! I know it is you." You see, every girl is really a princess waiting to be fought over. Longing for a hero to slay that dragon and carry us away to love forever. Therefore, there is also a fierce knight, looking for that dragon to slay, so he can save his princess. To be the hero in his own story. No, this is not brainwashing from Disney. This is the way, I believe, God wired us.
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Did I like that he was going to be a firefighter? No, not really. I did get flashes of my man turning all muscles and carrying me through doorways and such, but alas, reality was quite different. Yes he did get hotter, ladies, if you must know, but I was not blinded by his muscles. I had to make a decision. Was I going to be what he needed? Or wimp out and make up some excuse. Well, if you know me, I do not quit, ever. "Can't", is not in my vocabulary. With the help of some friends, family, and mostly books, I decided to do what was necessary. Change my attitude and my actions. They are the only thing I could control, so I tried my hardest to keep them in check.
The first years of a firefighters training and schooling is a huge time commitment. Plus if you are a volunteer, as our County is, you also have your full time job to keep up with. Literally they are working, studying, or on a call 19 hours a day. Nearly every day. For two years minimum. Well, my love language is Quality Time, so you can only imagine how empty my love tank was for those two years. We always tried to spend as much time together as we could, but they were a long two years.
In a short version, ladies, if you are going through this now, with your loved ones, my advice is you are going to have to suck it up. You are going to have to be independent with yourself and totally dependant on God, in my opinion. You may have to set an alarm for the middle of the night to catch your hubby. Maybe have to arrange that the are kids gone when he gets home to get a quality conversation out of him. You may even have to ask him about something you
know he will never shut up about just so you can hear him talk. Otherwise he has to move on to the next project. Are you going to have to be creative? Yes. Are you going to be mad sometimes? Like a hornet... Yet, you are also going to be proud. Can you do it? Yes! Well, I could. Not on my own and definitely not in my own strength. Thankfully, now I have the best marriage. We have been married for almost ten years, though I feel like it has been ten weeks. I have never felt closer or safer. Worry hardly ever creeps up on me. If it does, I know exactly what to do, and it is gone in moments.
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| My dragon slayer, Micah |
I started this blog to help out other firefighters families and wives. So they would know there is hope. That there is someone out there going through it too. We are the glue that holds the team together. For without us no one could function. This is here to help keep you laughing and keep you proud of your husbands. Stay tuned because I am going to lay out as much as possible on the table. I am going to talk all about the tricks, books, and other things I did to help me out in these sizzling times. Make sure you join so you don't miss out! If you ever need anything feel free to ask!
Well, CakeGirl wants to know, what did you say when your hubby asked you if he could do something crazy?
