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Sunday, February 10, 2013

Can You Be A Mom and Still be Sexy?!

It was sort of shocking, like this.
Ya, know the Venus Di Milo.

   As I am typing this, my stomach is in a knot, I really can't believe I am gonna share this. Yet, I haven't slept in days, since I started to feel the need to. If this helps even just one woman be inspired, one to be more brave, one marriage become closer, it will be worth it. I am going to share a highly offensive picture with you, of my son and I. (This is called sarcasm.)  This may seem like no big deal to you, but the feed back I got either filled my bucket or left me in in completely shock.

 A Hot Christian Mom?

OK. To be fair to was my
back. Maybe that is more
    When I took this picture of myself and my son, I felt beautiful. I felt like a woman. I felt sort of hot! Imagining the black and white skin on skin portrait of mother and son, in a natural dreamy light, just felt super natural, loving, yet empowering. Honestly I couldn't wait to show my husband, and every good friend I had. You see, I am experimenting in photography. Motherhood tends to inspire the creative side of me. So far, it has taken shape in paintings, cake, blogging, and now photography. Just as my love and awe for God, art finds its' way into all the areas of my life. Into my parenting styles, what I eat, my creativity, and yes even my bedroom. I am not a file cabinet. All organized, alphabetical, separate little sections of me. None allowed to cross over into the other. Each in it's place. No. I can not separate motherhood, from being Christian, from being a loyal, loving wife, let alone the role model of a woman should be for my sons.  Maybe that is why some found my image shocking.

   Plus, I did the unthinkable, and shared it in a super secret private group on Facebook. Mind you, I already shared on my photography page, so I wasn't worried about people sharing it or downloading it. Despite that, it still stirred up a big discussion. Normally, these sort of things roll right off my back. Awkward as it is, and as much as I really don't feel like doing  it, seems this has been added to my ministry now. Since I can't stop thinking about it, it must be important!

Why Should I Care? 
How bout the Birth Of Venus. Surely it had to do with it having
a baby in the picture with me? Being a Mom while also looking
smoking hot is strictly not allowed. Don't you dare embrace your MILfness!
   When I had my first son, I struggled with being modest, and nursing. My mother nursed all 3 of her children, but I didn't really remember. Actually, I don't remember ever seeing another woman nurse a baby. My friends that had babies, choose to do formula. For some reason, I just felt extremely uncomfortable while doing it. Even while alone, I had to be covered up, and in a separate room with the door closed. I felt like a  pervert. Even though I enjoyed it, I felt creepy. That meant a lot of hiding out, feeling like a milked cow pent up in a closet, ashamed and hidden. I only lasted about 6 weeks, nearly breaking my heart. Then with my second son who came 18 months later, during the year my husband decided to join the fire academy.  Needless to say, with that high stress, I only lasted  about 4 weeks with him, only adding to my postpartum.

It's because of the baby right?
This image has to be repulsive!
  During that time, I even had an extremely hard time being intimate with my husband. I felt like my breasts were for baby. I could not switch over to now they are for my husband. When, what I should have been saying was they were for me! We are beautiful, no matter what size or shape we are. God made us a masterpiece. Being a woman means managing so many layers. As creatures of endurance, we tend to shut down the one's we feel are not so important. For example, putting ourselves first. Maybe, if I were surrounded by more women who were confident sexually along with all the other things a woman is supposed to be, I would have not felt the need to hide, for fear of some perv getting off on my breastfeeding. Or feeling so uncomfortable I'd rather stand in a bathroom stall then nurse at a restaurant table? I should have felt empowered, beautiful, free, instead of a late night actress, if ya know what I mean.

 If that was your wife or daughter, would that be OK with you?

  Maybe if we were surrounded by women like the ones in these pictures, we would all feel more confident in these situations. If we embrace images of women being comfortable in their skin, size, faith, and, general womanhood, it could be just what the next generation of Mommies need.  Pictures, blogs, articles about being a strong, hot, mama, wife, and just pure lady. As a society, we need to encourage tasteful, classy, views of women in all her layers.
It must be gross because the picture
shows both of our skin.
Like here in Gustaf Klimt's painting.

   Being an artist all my life, I have paintings and compositions in my head to create, some floating around since my first was born 7 years ago. To be fair, I didn't set out to take that picture with my son. I was sneaking, 10 second timed boudoir shots, while the kids were outside with their Dad in the snow. (A surprise for Valentine's Day, where I actually show less skin than here! Way, way less. You see, I guess I will do more for art. Ha Ha Ha!) When the baby woke up in a great mood, I remembered a photo I had been wanting to do. My room was all set to go, no one was around, the clouds parted, a beam came down from heaven, and I got the shots.

  Perhaps it is because supposedly, it was not art. Understandably it is hard to find beauty or art in something that isn't painted, or sculpted.

Therefor,  these that I found from Beautiful Breastfeeding: 25 Stunning Photos From Around The World, would not qualify either.

Compared to these, my shot blushes. These amazing, gorgeous,

graceful women, showing the strength, beauty, and just the

plain fierceness it takes to bear, nurture, and protect our young.

To me, that is the most motherly, sensual thing you could do.

To embrace all the things these pictures show.

Maybe it is because in my quickness, you can see my garter belt?

Because, ya know, babies come from storks.

Or is it because of my tattoo?

I bet I know. It is because I am Christian.

Man, I just love this one with the machete.

Because weapons, babies,

and nursing,  definitely do NOT

belong in the same picture!

To be fair, I understand it is probably illegal to hunt naked while

nursing, because I don't live

in a tribe in Africa.
   The fact that I had the baby and looked smoking hot, made people feel uncomfortable. It turned people away. My heart was sad for those that couldn't see the beauty in it. It made me feel beautiful, and hoped others would be inspired to do the same. Yes, I was thrown off guard when people viewed it as dirty. Motherhood is not dirty. Making love to your husband is not dirty. Maybe the fact I am openly a Christian threw them off. Or that I potentially shared it with the world, a "dirty" picture of me and my baby. Absurd!
Don't get me wrong. I don't feel you should flaunt your boobies for the world to see. As much as I see the human body as beautiful and artistic, it is equally important to hold yourself as a prize. To be a lady and know what you are worth. On the flip side I never want to add to the temptation of someone to cheat. Keepin' it classy, ya know. 

  Will my Christian friends shun me?
 My quest was clear. My nerve was not. Then I thought to myself, "Why would I even think that?' Just because I believe in God, I can't be sexy, and be a Mom? Once you pop that sucker out, I guess you gotta bundle up, hunker down, and turn in your panties for granny's? Does the Bible even say anything that even sounds sexy? Isn't it just a bunch of stories and rules? Well, here are a few verses from the Song of Solomon.

1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth- for thy love is better than wine. 2:3 Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and they mouth is comely; they temples are like a pomegranate split open behind thy vei. 4 Thy neck is like the tower of David builded with turrets, whereon there hang a thousand shields, all the armour of the mighty men. 5 Thy two breasts are like two fawns that are twins of a gazelle, which feed among the lilies." 
Not doing it for ya? Those are more like a love poem. How about his one? Tell me this isn't a little hot?
"Delight in Jerusalem! Drink deeply of her glory even as an infant drinks at its mother's breasts." Isiah 66:11 

   The Bible embraces the beauty of motherhood. It recognizes the importance, and quite romantically describes the love making between a husband and wife. It even uses it as analogy for how deeply God/Jesus loves His people/church. Get this. A sexual analogy for the love of His people. Yes indeed, I think God wants us to embrace our relationship, every bit, and be confident and proud of it. Not hide in a closet. To embrace all of what it means to be a woman, in my opinion, is not frowned upon anywhere. To have a successful marriage, you need to have a healthy relationship in the bedroom, as well as all the other rooms in the house. Why should I hide this from my children? I want them to choose confident woman in their lives too. Someone who will proudly nurse her children, knowing how much life she is providing, and to have them be fully supportive of it. So I am mustering up the courage to share this picture with you. In hopes that the beauty I see in it, finds you. That there is a girl out there that needs to feel more comfortable in her skin. There is a Mom out there, who needs to feel attractive, that I can reach. That possibly, it could help a woman feel free enough to go out with her family, because she can nurse in public.  Even better yet, feeling beautiful, like hot mama, while doing it. A dream come true, would be to have people stand and applaud her.

    Drum Roll Please!! 

If you have made it this far, you deserve to see this highly controversial photograph. The moment you have all been waiting for!!!

I know! It is very shocking! 

 Suddenly I am feeling pretty empowered. So I am gonna share one even more shocking. 

   After all this, empowering the woman, I hope I haven't lost too many of you. Instead, I hope that you in turn stop judging and start encouraging each other. To be you. To be the many layers of you. Keep your standards high but embrace the nature of what it is to be a woman. Enjoy your curves, but enjoy the mystery.

  My friends, I hope you feel moved to comment or share. Kiss your babies! Love your men! Love each other!  Are you still there?!! 


  1. You are awesome and brave and amazing. we are women and wives and mothers. The world needs to accept all of our parts or move along and leave us to our business. <3 to you my dear! Brava!

    1. I replied but it came out as a comment!- Awwww!!! Thank you soooo very much Trina! <3 to you too. As always, I appreciate your comments. So glad you feel the same way. High Five

  2. Awwww!!! Thank you soooo very much Trina! <3 to you too. As always, I appreciate your comments. So glad you feel the same way. High Five!

  3. Mothers are inspiring, strong, and powerful. Your photos are beautiful. Never be afraid to be who you are.

  4. Thank you!! I think so too. I wsn't really afraid, just modest. But I think it was important enough to share. it was just planned for my faamily. Thanks Amy so much!

  5. Love this. Love you!!

    1. Rachel Thank you so very much! Love you too!!!! Make sure you follow me! I am so glad you found me here!

  6. You know, a lot of people miss the beauty in the world because they are too busy being bitter about their own battles that they feel the need to be rain on everyone else. I want to go more in depth but since I probably shouldn't, I won't. You know how I feel about you. I love you, this post and these pictures. Good for you!!!

    1. Thank you so much Jessie! That is exactly how I feel!!!

  7. Here's the deal... Women NEED to see other women being gorgeous and comfortable in their mama bodies. We need it because even when I had Noah, I thought, "Moms are not supposed to be sexy." ALSO... BABIES need us to see this too. How many more women would breastfeed longer if it didn't seem to us to be so conflicting? You know?! You can not compartmentalize the Mother Form. She became the mother because of her sexual form. There is such tremendous positivism that is brought to a marriage once a woman learns it is best for the whole family for her to not deny her sexuality.

    1. I could not have said it better myself. We NEED to see these. So much could be different if just everyone did it. If being confident mothers/women WAS the norm. My children and their s to come need to see it. Yup! Their grandma, smoking hot! Being a mommy! Thank you so much for commenting Dawn!! it means the world to me!! Also, for sharing it on your page!

  8. Great post. I nurse my new baby and im a lactivist. I think the problem people have with the photo is the garter belt and stockings is risque lingerie. If any of my friends on fb post a photo wearing thay it doesnt matter if they are a mom or not imo thats for hubbys eyes only

    New Mom who nurses

    1. I kind of disagree. The garterbelt is part of the statement of it to me. It is what says: YES, I am a mother and YES, I am a sexual being. It's not a sexy "pose" it's sexy clothes, which is kind of like saying, moms should make time for every aspect of their womanhood. How is this picture different from other paintings or sculptures where women are shown as both sexy and mothers?

    2. That is more what my point is. I can't separate them anymore. It just isn't as healthy for me. Thank you for commenting!

  9. First of all, thank you for taking the time to comment. That is also what I was about nervous when I shared it. Let me repeat, it WAS a super private secret group, not just out there for all of FB to see. Even on my personal page I was hesitent, so I made it very blurry, but still felt it was worthy of an advertisement for my photography page. What I envisioned before I took the pic was just nothing on my legs. Let me ask you this, do you think it would be less controversial, if there were no garters? I know it is just my back, and that I see more at the beach. Really the undies aren't " risky", just lacy. It's not even a thong! That is what gets me, because of a little string and the top of nylons, it makes it too sexual for some? I do agree these were really only intended for my husband, but why. I am not being a pervert. What I think the REAL deaal, is that there is a differnce between perverted, or slutty, or sexy. Woman should mean sexy. And not shame if you are. Not saying that is what you were saying at all. It is sort of a catch 22 isn't it? How to make women feel more normal, even sexy, make it the norm, even wholesome, without being judgey? Can we be wholesome and sexy? Maybe tht would be a better title?

  10. I think they are AMAZING!!!! I got some flack from a few people when I posted some of the pics from my Boudoir shoot on my FB page also "for the world to see", I don't have a perfect body, but they (the pictures) made me feel good!! It's my body, if you don't like my pics, or the fact that I want to show them off to the world, then don't look at them!!!! I'm not perfect, but I am happy with ME, and I have found that the majority of the 'haters' need to re~evaluate themselves, and stop concentrating so much on everyone else, then they may be happier in their own skin, and who knows, maybe even do a photo shoot NAKED with their baby instead of some dumb YOU~ SIT~ HERE~ JcPenney pics!!!

    1. Michelle!!! Thank you so much for saying that!!! So very much!! I love what you said about the Penny's pics!! So funny! Thank you for putting yourself out there, because YOU inspire ME!!! <3