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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Dangers Of Living Too Close To Your Family

    My life is very often like a favorite show of mine, Everybody Loves Raymond. Have you seen it? Basically, he lives next to his parents and his funny cop brother causing all of sorts of hilarious things to happen. Sometimes that show just makes me laugh so hard that I cry. You can only imagine all the things that may come up, living next to your crazy in laws right? It is so funny. Well, enough happens when they aren't so crazy too.  My whole family lives within five minutes away from my house. For some reason, privacy has really never stuck out as a priority for anyone. You see, we also run a company out of our house, live on a river, and come from a small town.  From the random people fishing, to the person picking up a pay check, or a tool that has been set out, the popping in is never ending. The boundaries just aren't there during business hours, at least normally.
  By some miracle that day, I had slept in till nine. Wo- Hoo!! Usually, I am woken up by two bumbling bundles of joy, jumping on my belly, pulling my eye lids open, or wiping a booger on my face! I am serious! True story. Although, I know it isn't unheard of.  You can read here, how one of my good friends is a super mom, and made the unselfish decision to co sleep with her toddler. I think it is very understandable when you wake up to a booger in the face when your munchkin is laying right next to you. But nooo, mine actually saved one, special for me, made a trip all the way to me, and smeared that nasty thing down my face. Then  of course he laughed and ran away! Stinker. A very thoughtful and well planned out hijack. These are total characteristics of my youngest son.
  There I am laying in bed, wondering what time it was. How weird it was that I hadn't heard little feet climbing down their squeaky bunk bed, then scurry down the hall to my room, for a good booger wiping. I assumed they had slept in. We were up late the night before watching a movie. I climbed out of bed and looked for a shirt in my dresser. This wonderful week, my washer broke, and my awesome mother in law was kind enough to help with my laundry. As you know, they live right next door. Which makes it worse that I procrastinated because I didn't even have to fold them!  But after the movie I didn't put the clothes away, like I should have. They were sitting in a basket on the floor in the living room, the rest of the way down the hall.
  Being that my machine was broken, I was, sadly, down to my last pair of undies, Actually, thank God, because they were pretty much a big ol' pair of granny panties from when I was pregnant that covered like shorts. Getting more and more irritated every second because I was freezing from my fan blowing on me. My toes started to cramp from standing them. Done searching, I threw open my door, and leaped like a gazelle! I know! This image cracks even me up. I was trying to keep as much of my foot off the floor and making as big of leaps as possible so I could accomplish my mission with the utmost speed.
  Crossing my arms over my chest, I flew threw the air in my bra and granny panties, sort of trying to hide behind my arms from my kids and hubby. I didn't want to start anything with him that early in the day, if you know what I am saying.  I just wanted to get some flipping clothes and stop shivering. So I leaped into the hallway preparing to dash down the hall. If time could have froze for that second, it would have been like a scene in Ella the Enchanted, when she is frozen in the air with her legs spread in a split, like a ballerina, jumping over a barrel. Hilarious in a kid movie, but not in real life, while you are half naked, right?! What froze me, you ask? Well, I look towards my destination.... and see my brother in law, sitting on the couch, with my youngest in his lap, thankfully, looking down talking to him. My brain smacked itself  in the face and came to. Thank GOD the play room was right across the hall. Throwing my arm out, I continued my gazelle leap into that savior of a room. As quietly and as quickly as possible, I swung the door behind me closed and held my breathe so no one would hear me. CRAP! Now what am I supposed to do? Now I was really gonna be cold! For what felt like an eternity, I stood there trying to think of a way to escape. Where was my hubby? Probably outside in the driveway, sending the guys off on their day of work. My brother in law is our lead man and was probably waiting for him to come inside. Crap crappity crap crap crap! I started to look at costumes hanging in the closet, a horse, no... iron man... maybe... kids winter coats...? Totally panicking by now, thinking, how in the world am I going to pull this one off?
  Two seconds later, the luckiest husband in the world, peeked his head in the room, and says, "My brother is he...... OH! ..Sorry! My brother is... here!" Looking up he gets, well, a you-know-what- kind of grin, and bursts out laughing. "Yeah, I know, a-hole! Thanks for the warning!  Will you get me some clothes?!" So like a guy, he asks what did I want. Laughing aggravatingly at how obvious that question was, I told him I didn't care! Serves me right, because you know what he brought me back?! A funny tank top, just in case if he did see me in my bra I can't cover up, and a pair of tinker bell pajama pants. Well... I guess he couldn't find my clothes either! Oh my gosh, I am so thankful I at least had underwear on!
 Has anyone else ever been busted by their in family doing something embarrassing? Wanna share and make me feel better??? Come on I promise I won't tell!


  1. i nearly peed my pants. omg.....

  2. Ha Ha! Me too! Thanks so much! Best compliment ever!

  3. I can totally picture this! HAHAHA! My mother in law once walked in, during the middle of nookie, and sat on the edge of the bed and started talking to us. I think we got our own place the next week! LOL