People ask me all the time how I don't worry about my husband when he is on a scary call. First of all, I have a word of advice, if you know someone who would be worrying about someone, do not ask them how they don't worry about them. Let me tell you, if they weren't before, they probably will think about it now. Why make them battle that thought again, when they very well may have already a hundred times that day. A second word of advice, do not ask them while said loved one is on, said, extra scary call. Let's give these supporting players the support they need too. Shall we? Not only does this include fire fighter wives, but police, military, and even some one's spouse who travels a lot. It is our responsibility to be watch what we say. Let's do our part not to spread fear and doubt, since we are on the subject.
The title of today's entry is a quote from a (dorky, yet I loved it) sci-fi series, called Children of Dune. If you like Start Trek go watch it. Anyway, it is from this show, but I am telling you, this line should be in the Bible.
My answer is usually pretty simple, I don't worry because it just isn't in me. That is usually followed by head tilt, an eyebrow scrunch, and a confused stare. Then, of course, because I can't control my laugh, I giggle. Which I always feel bad about, thinking I seem rude. I 'm just nervous, not being able to find the words so, on the spot. That is why I love this blogging thing...oh the luxury of backspace and spell check.
About seven years ago I began studying how to conquer fears. Wouldn't you know, fear is all over the place in the Bible. Though when I really started to see what it said about the subject, I was surprised at what I felt I had read. What spoke to me is that God wasn't this judging bad guy, condemning everyone to Hell because they were "bad." That you could never earn your way into Heaven. That going there is more like a gift that He created for us, hoping more than anything, we will choose to be buddies with him, accept his gift and go there so we can chill forever. I know it sounds silly, but that is the truth. To find out more pick up a Bible and start reading the new testament. :)
Back to fear. Fear is not in me because I choose to not worry. I do not worry because I guard my thoughts. If a thought comes in and attacks me and my sanity, I put on the Armor and Shield that I carry with me everywhere I go. I call out, I speak against it, and it must go. Second Timothy 1:7 NKJV says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." What I hear when I read this is that, God does not give us the spirit of fear. Say it to yourself, slowly. Say each word slowly. He gives us the power, did you hear that, the power of love and a sound mind! Think about this, at the beginning in Genisis it says that God is love. He made the Universe. He put that power of love inside of us. If you can absorb the gravity of that, you should be really excited. Especially, if you also believe that all things are possible, with God. If you know that God doesn't give us fear, it must come from something else does. Since there is light, there is dark. A yin for a yang. What does the Bible say about that? In it's stories, it says that fear keeps us from utilizing God's power. Dt 1:22, and from opportunities. Ex 2:7-8. That faith overcomes it. Jn 6:18-19. I think that faith is an action word. It requires us to do something. To fight that fear, with the power that God gave us. One weapon, faith, knowing and expecting God to do what he says. Second, love, or His Armor, which is the Word he left us to use as His weapon to get through life. Sort of a road map if you will. Third, our words and exceptations. For the power of life and death are held in the tongue. Proverbs 18:21. That our words steer our lives like a bit in a horse's mouth. James 3. It reveals what is in our hearts, showing what we are made of. Lk6:45. So out loud, which I know is very odd at first, find a verse that promises you what you need, health, sanity, whatever, they are all in there-trust me. Then, out loud, tell it to go because this is what the word of God says. Therefore, it has to listen. I know it is weird, but it works. Don't give up.
Often it is our very words that rip up the seeds we sew in life, ruining our harvests. I go around saying all the time, that God protects my husband. That he is healthy and strong. That angels help him in whatever he needs to do. That he helps as many as he can. I say it like it is a magic spell, every word coming out physically manifesting in front of my eyes. Because it does. Why even one story God took away a man's speech until he could get his speaking right. Until he wasn't going to mess up the miracle God was planning, allowing this couple to get pregnant. Even though God promised he would give them a child, one so special, he would give him more family than there were stars in the sky. He doubted. He was probably ninety nine years old, so it was highly unlikely. But man, if God himself tells you something you would think you'd believe it, right?
Well if that were true, how can I worry about my husband. He feels that God has called him to be a fire fighter. I need to trust that He will protect him. If something happens, which it won't, I will deal with it then. That God will make everything better. That he will work it out, because that is what it says. Call me old fashioned or child like, but I am just gullible enough to believe it. Thank God. Worry and fear is a waste of time and energy, resulting in me torturing myself. Plus, my husband needs to know I am not a basket case anytime he is gone. How can I do that? If God gave this dream to him, than he surely gave him the strength to do so. That if he is out there beating up demons, fighting in God's name, that God is with him. That there are armies of angels fighting right next to him. Standing over that OD patient. Fighting to bring back that heart attack victim. Putting out that house fire. That I am praying and he is hearing me. It says that if you believe that you when you pray, if you believe you already have it, that you will receive it. So I know, in my heart that when I pray for his protection, he will cover him in it.
Worry is pointless. God knew that. It is a trick to distract us, to hurt our hearts, and poor little battlefield of a brain. Another book that talks about this is Battlefield for Your Mind by Joyce Meyers. In here she explains that the battle is over our mind. That if Satan can win us over inside, that we are a waste to the war that is going on outside. Remember in my last entry, when I talk about the fact that I am NO man. Well that means I have a place in this battle too. One that only I can do. In these situations it is to, believe. Beyond a shadow of a doubt what the Bible says is true. That he gave us the authority and power through Jesus Christ's Holy name. Through his death he overcame Satan. He overcame death by rising from it. (I know this is again hurting some one's brain. Mine did too, don't worry, it will all come together in a minute.) So everything under Satan's power because of that victory, must now bow down and listen to him. There is power in Him. On days that I get a negative thought, I stop it right in it's tracks. Sometimes I pray, which helps. As a woman of strength, you must recognise that you are now a threat. That you may need to whip your sword out. You may need to step out in front of that demon, rip off your dented helmet, reveal your dirt striped face, burning with rage and beauty. Hearing the shling of the sword and the weight of the steel in your hand, seeing and feeling those eyes on you, what will you do? Will you draw out your sword, move through and past your fear, into action, moving on faith, screaming out. "In the name of Jesus Christ, you are not welcome here! I was not given a spirit of fear but of a sound mind. Therefore, on the word of God (Carl Orf music rising in the background) You shall not pass!!!" Or will you curl up and be frightened. Wilt and die?
So have faith your husband has been placed in this spot and time for a reason. That you are created to be one an other's cheerleader. Try and keep yourself positive. Find some easy things to distract your mind if you feel under attack or vulnerable that day. Add that to your Self- Care sheet. The key is to remember to use it. I like to keep mine on my mirror or fridge. Make your Self- Care lists work for you. Fill your love tanks. Keep yourself well rested. Their are times when we just have a bad day and it is easier to get to us. Please remember when we don't have the strength to do it on our own, all you have to do is use your faith. Put it to action and call out. Action overcomes fear. Go running afterwards. Cuddle with your kids. Then, for God's sake, the next time you feel like withholding a little love from your husband, remember why you would worry, in the first place. Which you won't. It is because you love that man. Now go make out with him like you are Maid Marian after she is rescued from that evil sheriff, in Robin Hood, after she cries, "Oh Robin!". The one with Kevin Costner. Then they run at each other like they are about to die, as Bryan Adams sings.... I would die for you..... you know it's true... everything I do... ohhhhh .. Yeah you know the rest... I know it. ;)