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Friday, September 16, 2011

Never Cry Over Silver Linings

  There are two things that I am forever grateful to my Mama for teaching me. These little sayings have molded and guided parts of my personality and attitude towards life.  Understand, if you know me personally at all, I do not feel I really exude any huge confidence at all. The difference is that I  just have a ton of empathy for others. Many people have mentioned how I seem to attract people.   First hand, I know what it is like to be made fun of. Literally most of my school career I had less friends than I could count. My family loved me deeply, which saved me, but painfully, and often it just wasn't enough.

  Since I can remember, I have had severe eczema, which is an itchy, ugly, flaky skin condition. As we can all probably imagine, kids can be pretty cruel about things like that. When I was around other people in general, I always felt like no one wanted to come near me or touch me, because I was gross. Or that maybe what I had was catchy. They called me a leper, or would ask where the snow was coming from. You know, really creative stuff. :) That made me long to be close to people. To be touched on the shoulder by a buddy. For someone to play with my hair. To scratch my back. These things were worth more than chocolate to me. (Which I was allergic to until is was a teeenager.) Maybe it was because of all that I make it a point to make every one know how much they mean to me. That once I did have people who wanted to be around me, I made sure they knew what was awesome about them. If you dish out the complements, you will reap those good seeds you are sewing. People will just be attracted to you, which will lead you to have lots of friends who are always there for you. Actually, a third saying just came to mind she always said, "If you can't say something nice, than don't say anything at all."

  These sayings my Mom taught me got me through so much negative in my life. Today I can look back and see how I owe my love for friendship and people, to the fight to have them near me. Instead of getting bitter, I fought to find more. Always having faith, even when little, that people were good. Those little quotes would flash at me in my mind, often in my Mom's pretty and caring voice. They helped me find my way through the jungle of finding yourself... scratching to stay alive, to be happy inside. The first gem is, "Never Cry Over Spilled Milk."  Being a fire fighter's wife, I use this a lot! Things happen. Seriously these are things that you can't think up! Crazy, scarey, stupid, silly, and amazing things. There will be occasions when you will be dissappointed. Or what I like to say, underwhelmed.... In people, in situations, in time gone by. What all these have in common, is that these are normally thing that happen. Your husband misses the fifteenth dinner you have tried to make for the family. You eat, yet another birthday dinner alone because the tones dropped on their pager. You get in trouble because you didn't wash the right clothes. The kids spilled milk for the eighteenth time into your new couch. Whatever it is... it is done and over. You can't go back and erase it. Their is no big rewind button on life, so move on. Move forward but learn from where you came. Don't put the milk back on the edge of the counter! Many times I think we get all emotional over silly unimportant things. While really we are just frustrated, need some self time, a massage, and a nap. I heard Joyce Meyers says once she felt convicted about crying in the bathroom from God. She looked in the mirror and felt like God asked her why she went and hid in the bathroom to cry. (Instead of dealing with the isssue) Then He told alot of us, basicly, like to see ourselves cry, so we can look at ourselves, wollow in even more self pity. Then say, "Look how awful I look. Look how sad I look, Waaaa..." Boy, I related to doing that before.

  The second is a little tougher for most I think. As a society we don't have a problem swallowing problems, shving them way down to deal with when we have time. Being optimistic, I think it feels to some people like they are going to die if they aren't focusing on the negative! So number two  is, "Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining."
Because it does!!! I dare you to try it. God makes everything out for our good. ALL!! It gets exciting if you start to pay attention to the creative ways God does turn things around for you. It may take awhile, even years, but stay faithful, and He will always turn it around for our good. So why not start looking for that liner? If we are a good finder, or realize that crappy things happen to us all, and we choose to react in a certain way. Positive or negative. What makes the person is how they deal with it. No one can control us, even if there is a gun to your head. You always have a choice in how you act. One of the things I can't stand hearing from people is, "well that is just the way I am . I have always been that way." Well change it! Read some books. Practice! It isn't going to be easy or happen in one day. With all my heart, I believe you can change and reprogram anything you don't like about yourself or wish you were more like. All it takes is finding someone who has what you want and watching them. Ask them if they will share what tips they have or books they read. Remember from this previous blog, called Guard Your Heart, you are what you put in. You have to put what you want, in! This Book, What You Say When You Talk To Yourself, will teach you a way to reprogram your thought process, that works every single time. In the simplest terms, you tell yourself out loud what you want to be. If you want to quit smoking, you say, "Smoking is gross. I hate it. It makes me wanna throw up..." Wanna be more confident? Have more friends? Tell yourself over and over, " I love people. Making others feel good about themselves is exciting and super rewarding. Fun, positive people are attracted to me like a magnet, and I couldn't keep them off with a stick, even if I wanted to..." And you will see a change. Trust me. Do it long enough and you can talk yourself into anything! It also works the other way, and it can come from anyone. Words are words and hear them despite their source or misintent. What is wrong with me/ you? Why do I/you keep doing this? I love fatty foods! I hate exercising... Yada yada yada. Start by telling yourself, everything will work out for my good because the creator of the freaking universe said so, and see how you feel afterward. That everything does and will have a silver lining. That you are not created by your reactions but you create your actions. You control the two things you can, a wise man said many many times, your actions and your attitude. Input, thought process,  words, attitude, then actions equals the outgo or where you are in life. It was crazy when I started reading and trying to only watch good stuff. At first I missed all my gossipy magazines and sad news storied, but now I can't stand even looking at them most of the time. I do  love looking at all the red carpet dresses, but that's that the internet is for right? Yay!!!

  Again thank you Mom, and to all Mom's out there teacher your kids these special nuggets! Keep up the great work. Do you remeber any sayings or ryhmes that stayed with you? Any motto that has changed your life? Tell me, please! I would love to hear it!

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