Funny People Can Hurt the Most: Robin Williams Possible Suicide Will Shed Light on Firefighter Suicide and Depression

Yesterday the shocking news of Robin Williams' possible suicide has struck a cord with people suffering from depression, anxiety, and PTSD, like firefighters. It was a shock to some that the comic genius Williams was a sadly tortured soul.  Often the funniest people are the ones with the deepest wounds. Much like many sad endings they can change the way the world sees things, like he already has so many times. Once again he can shine light an another stigma, the one that surrounds reaching out for help.

I hate even saying reaching out for help. It hurts too much to even think about reaching sometimes. Your body doesn't want to move out of the spot you are in. It literally hurts to think of moving your arm to another person, it is more like sharing your human-ness. You're unique scars and wounds so we can heal them up together. The way we were designed to. I feel we weren't designed to heal on our own.

Felt Like He Was Family 

Like any child of the 80's I grew up hearing him call, "Gooooooood mooorning Vietnam!" and jamming to music in that movie. I knew every single word to Aladdin. I cried at Mrs. Doubtfire. He saved my from Captain Hook as Peter Panning. He was like my Dad too. Like him, I turned many of my enemies into friends with laughter. Including myself. I wish he could have kept doing the same.

Pictures showing favorite roles flooded social media. I was able to keep it together. I distracted  myself from the thoughts I knew would try and stab my heart with worry. I am married to a firefighter. I feel we have both suffer from depression. I have/had postpartum. My husband is a firefighter, an officer, and was on the fire investigation team. He has seen a lot. Though he says he is fine. Suicide is #2, next to heart related deaths at #1 for firefighters.  Both are totally preventable.

What happened???

What makes a person click from being fine, to shocking the world with one day not being there. Leaving everyone asking, "What happened? He seemed so happy." Did you have these thoughts too?

 As the day went on, I wanted to make sure that doesn't happen. What are the signs? I know how our lives seem from the outside. I also know how hard we fight in this world to stay sane, if you know what I mean. No one knows what we are going through. Because we hold it together really well. Because, of course, like any couple, we fall apart really well together when we need to. We have been one of the lucky ones, we just keep holding on, while the right weapons to stand strong on have found us. Each time making us stronger once we come out of the issue at hand. It is what happens while you are going through those unavoidable issues of life that brings that concerns me. Does it you? Here is a hot line that is free and confidential from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255.

You see Robin Williams touched millions of lives since he was real in his comedy. We could look in his eyes and see sadness, joy, struggle, love.  Most thought he was just a really good actor. The character trait that I admired most of all was his self acceptance. I guess he really was a good actor.

I tried to stop thinking about it because we are also actors, my hubby and I. Creators. Artists to our core. Why are artists so tortured? Our dream is to be someone like Robin Williams. This amazing artist who was able to help the world, to radically change it for the better, by having the courage the audacity to be who God created him to be. Like Tim Allen. Even Tim Burton.
Perfectly imperfect, and using it to help others.

I hope to help you keep doing that Robin, if this was indeed your last act.

My husband put it perfectly when he cried out, "Who has hope if he couldn't figure it out?"
I guess that is the big lie of life, that people actually figure it out. That everyone else is doing well, while you struggle. The big reality is that we all struggle, hurt, and cry. There should be zero stigma around our faults, and especially our want to grow, change, and get better.

My hubby actually didn't believe me when I told him. He went right to where all accurate information comes from, Google. I prayed he would find that it was one of those celebrity rumors you hear about, like when I was 12, Zach from Saved By the Bell died and I found out it was fake. I prayed it was the same. Instead he found this from our President.

President Barack Obama

"Robin Williams was an airman a doctor, a genie, a nanny, president, a professor, a bangarang Peter Pan, and everything in between. But he was one of a kind. He arrived in our lives as an alien- but ended up touching every element of the human spirit. He made us laugh. He made us cry. He gave us immeasurable talent freely and generously to those who needed it most."

Tears shot out of my eyes sideways at the Peter Pan part. That is my favorite roll. Next to When Dreams May Come.

My friends at Firefighter Behavioral Health, who fight to prevent suicide agree.

Yesterday they said,

"There was a guest on CNN who said of Robin Williams, that he could ring laughter to millions but never could he find laughter or peace in his own life. This seems very similar to FF's and EMT's. We provide help to people we don't even know during a crisis in their lives, yet when we are suffering we find it difficult to ask for help. Overcome what our culture dictates and reach out brothers and sisters. If you are struggling with issues in your life extend your hand for help."

"With the death of RW by suicide, it solidifies FBHA's mission to provide awareness and prevention.Our focus is on firefighters and EMS but it doesn't stop there. If you know of someone suffering, there is help.This is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-27-8255. #RobinWilliams."

YOU are loved. You are worthy. You deserve to be happy. 

Happy Thought

Right now I want each of you to think of a happy thought. Shut your face and just do it. Think of one thing that will keep you going no matter what. A moment. A promise. A gift. A dream. A kiss. A child. A spouse. A sibling. A parent. A friend. Your why. Can't think of anyone? Perhaps this is your chance to share your human-ness. Your unique story. Your crazy little life might just be what someone else will connect with, giving them the courage to keep going. 

When you are feeling low, surround yourself with that happy thought.  Just like Williams taught us to. I pray that we can all find that Happy Thought.

Bangarang

What is your happy thought? Please write them in the comments below. As always the best discussions happen after the posts, in the comments, or on my Holy Fire Cake Girl Facebook page. Be sure to share this now on FB, Twitter, Instagram, and all your other little pages. You never know who's picture perfect life is cracking away under the surface and needs help.

Once again here is the free and totally confidential number to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255.

Robin, may your light spread and dissolve any stigma around reaching out to prevent suicide in the strongest around us, like firefighters, military, and our loved ones who carry the weight of life.

Getting Ready For the Flame Fest Firefighter Couple's Ball

This will be the second official year FirefighterWife.com will be having their annual firefighter couple's convention Flame and this Holy Fire Cake Girl is exploding with anticipation! Wooo #Flamefest14 Here I come baby! I am so excited I might just do a flying firefighter slash ninja kick flip right now. Last year's was as awesome as the crème brule I had,

 

and this year is bound to be 100 times better. PLUS, I found THE perfect dress to do it all in.

I can barely sleep thinking of all the things I have to make, clean, organize, let alone all the things that await. Last year was AMAZING! Lori and the crew at FirefighterWife.com have really out done themselves with this weekend's agenda. With the amazing line up of speakers and sponsors, like Money Saving Mom, Marriage experts the DiLorenzo, The LowTCenters.com, Behavior Health Consultants,  E3consultants, and of course the ever insightful and inspiring Lori and Dan Mercer, this is sure not only to be a huge party, but life changing as well. Plus, I will have the insiders perspective right here for you! Stay tuned to my Face Book and Instagram to stay up to the minute on all the excitement. Raffles. Amazing food. Music. Laughter. Tears. Grab Bags! You know how I love to create! Well, chasing another long time dream,  I started making ceramic fairy doors at Backlund's Backlands. (LOVE the name right?!)

Inspired by all the love I have fore firefighting, I am making thee awesome fairy doors I have designed out of ceramic firefighter helmet shields to put in the grab bags! Grab bags aren't the half of the value either. SO much I can't even convey. They are even having a touch a truck event!!  Seriously, I need some advice on that! Like do I need snacks, a pee bucket or what?? ;)

I am beyond humbled and honored to be a tiny part of this amazing group of women. I get to blog a bit, help write books, and just be a part of an amazingly special group of women that bless me every day just knowing them. AND I actually get to hug them in real life in 5 days!!! You have no idea how I neeeeed that hug! We have been through so much together in the fire service this past year, even if only connected online. The hope of the crew and I at FirefighterWife.com and in the exclusive Sisterhood, want nothing more than #Flamefest14 to strengthen and secure firefighter marriages all over the nation.

On the 4th of July I had the opportunity to make a last minute wedding cake. See!? Not too bad!

I almost didn't do it, but it gave me the extra cash to go SHOPPING! Thank God for sales. I wish they gave firefighter discounts too! LOL

What so you think of the three dresses!? Which would you have picked?

If you are a fan on my FB page you'll know what I did pick. Otherwise you'll have to see!

I'm super pumped to get some time alone with my firefighter.  He is so on the go, I am not sure if we would take the time to take a just us vacation this year. Thank God for they are doing this just for us!!This will be so much better than the awkward Christmas dinner I'm used to. Maybe he will wear his class A's. Mmmm!

I think he is going to LOVE them. I'm going to pair them up with a pin up hair do I think.
Since I have my dress picked out now I could call my bestie hair dresser for an at home cut. Aren't I lucky!?


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Here is a sneak peak.

Bwhaha Oh baby!

 

What are you doing to get ready for the firefighter couples convention called Flamefest?

Announcing! How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: New EBook

I'm Spilling it All in How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything 

Spring is finally in the air where I live Holy crap that was the longest freaking winter I have ever lived through. My pipes are huge from shoveling. Sweet right? LOL

This winter I have also especially been living a hermit's life writing this seriously awesome eBook. Sort of the opposite of my normal running around fire fighter wife life.  I have missed everyone and I am super pumped to stick my neck out there, in more ways than one, into the spring light. This REALLY IS the perfect time to have a book release about the power of sex.

I am cracking up as I write this.

Not that this is a laughing matter, but in TWO days I am gong to be revealing more of myself to the world than I ever have. AND you guys know I share a lot here. When I get nervous I giggle. Like bad. Needless to say everything is making me giggle Don't you dare go on FB land and try to get me to laugh either, I can't take it!! My head is going to explode!!

So my lovely, lovely hotties you, I am REALLY going to need your support here. I swear I have been quiet for good reason. Hotties, don't fail me now!! ;)

If you have ever liked, shared, commented, or followed anything I have written, all of that work has lead to this crazy moment.

I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for standing by me.

There were times when I felt like no one was listening except my Mom. And then I wondered if she even was. LOL. I know that 350 some odd FB fans may not seem like a ton to anyone. But I would rather have each and every one of you, then 300,00 fake ones. (Even if only 4% of you get my stuff Thank you FB and your fabulous rules. :) )
With out all of your words of encouragement, and pushing me to write and share more, there I no way I would have written this.

Here come the goods.

How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: Reigniting Your Love's Fire is a book where I bare my heart and soul, sharing my story.
I was depressed. Post partum. My hubby had just joined the fire department and was going through Fire Academy. Which meant a full time hours for that. We had just started an asphalt company after the failing car industry ate our finances. And our lunches. I had just had my second baby. We lost our house. Moved in next to family. We had no money. My hair was even falling out. I felt ugly. Alone. Exhausted. I joke here in this post that it was "The worst year of my life". Although it just wasn't funny at the time.
On top of that he was a super crabby mess from lack of sleep, high stress, no time at home, loads of work to do everywhere he went, and the pressure of passing classes tests.
I was also a crabby wreck.
I was spent.
The last thing I wanted to do was give it up.
Can I get an Amen to that if you have ever felt this way??
I was desperate for something to change for fear of losing him.

Since then I have seen huge things happen in my marriage, and the least I can say here, s that we are both much, MUCH happier.

If you desire and pray for a deep change in the intimacy in your marriage, this book might JUST be what sparks that fire back in you and your spouse.
This book is among a series of eBook written for FireFighterWife.com called
The Fire Wife Academy. See the sweet things she says about the book being released here. <3

 If you remember I had the huge honor of helping with the first one The End Of Worry Fear and Sleepless Nights. It has helped so many of my sister become stronger, I was super pumped to share my 27 Days Challenge to fire up love lives. My number one mission is to help strengthen fire marriages out there, and putting myself out on a limb (and Faith) seems like a total logical way to do just that. Who better to ask than a firefighter wife right?
I hope you feel that fire too!

How 27 Days will be available April 11th through Fire Fighter Wife.

So share with your friends everywhere who might be in slumps too. Who doesn't need some fire in their bedroom right?
Again, THANK YOU for being you!
I adore you!
AS always I'll be at my HFCG's Face Book page and in the Fire FIghter Wife Page. Though I usually hang out in the secret one you have to be a member of so we can get real. :) Give a shout out ether way and tell me what you think!