Can You Be A Mom and Still be Sexy?!

It was sort of shocking, like this.
Ya, know the Venus Di Milo.

   As I am typing this, my stomach is in a knot, I really can't believe I am gonna share this. Yet, I haven't slept in days, since I started to feel the need to. If this helps even just one woman be inspired, one to be more brave, one marriage become closer, it will be worth it. I am going to share a highly offensive picture with you, of my son and I. (This is called sarcasm.)  This may seem like no big deal to you, but the feed back I got either filled my bucket or left me in in completely shock.


 A Hot Christian Mom?

OK. To be fair to was my
back. Maybe that is more
offensive?

    When I took this picture of myself and my son, I felt beautiful. I felt like a woman. I felt sort of hot! Imagining the black and white skin on skin portrait of mother and son, in a natural dreamy light, just felt super natural, loving, yet empowering. Honestly I couldn't wait to show my husband, and every good friend I had. You see, I am experimenting in photography. Motherhood tends to inspire the creative side of me. So far, it has taken shape in paintings, cake, blogging, and now photography. Just as my love and awe for God, art finds its' way into all the areas of my life. Into my parenting styles, what I eat, my creativity, and yes even my bedroom. I am not a file cabinet. All organized, alphabetical, separate little sections of me. None allowed to cross over into the other. Each in it's place. No. I can not separate motherhood, from being Christian, from being a loyal, loving wife, let alone the role model of a woman should be for my sons.  Maybe that is why some found my image shocking.

   Plus, I did the unthinkable, and shared it in a super secret private group on Facebook. Mind you, I already shared on my photography page, so I wasn't worried about people sharing it or downloading it. Despite that, it still stirred up a big discussion. Normally, these sort of things roll right off my back. Awkward as it is, and as much as I really don't feel like doing  it, seems this has been added to my ministry now. Since I can't stop thinking about it, it must be important!


Why Should I Care? 

How bout the Birth Of Venus. Surely it had to do with it having
a baby in the picture with me? Being a Mom while also looking
smoking hot is strictly not allowed. Don't you dare embrace your MILfness!

   When I had my first son, I struggled with being modest, and nursing. My mother nursed all 3 of her children, but I didn't really remember. Actually, I don't remember ever seeing another woman nurse a baby. My friends that had babies, choose to do formula. For some reason, I just felt extremely uncomfortable while doing it. Even while alone, I had to be covered up, and in a separate room with the door closed. I felt like a  pervert. Even though I enjoyed it, I felt creepy. That meant a lot of hiding out, feeling like a milked cow pent up in a closet, ashamed and hidden. I only lasted about 6 weeks, nearly breaking my heart. Then with my second son who came 18 months later, during the year my husband decided to join the fire academy.  Needless to say, with that high stress, I only lasted  about 4 weeks with him, only adding to my postpartum.

It's because of the baby right?
This image has to be repulsive!

  During that time, I even had an extremely hard time being intimate with my husband. I felt like my breasts were for baby. I could not switch over to now they are for my husband. When, what I should have been saying was they were for me! We are beautiful, no matter what size or shape we are. God made us a masterpiece. Being a woman means managing so many layers. As creatures of endurance, we tend to shut down the one's we feel are not so important. For example, putting ourselves first. Maybe, if I were surrounded by more women who were confident sexually along with all the other things a woman is supposed to be, I would have not felt the need to hide, for fear of some perv getting off on my breastfeeding. Or feeling so uncomfortable I'd rather stand in a bathroom stall then nurse at a restaurant table? I should have felt empowered, beautiful, free, instead of a late night actress, if ya know what I mean.


 If that was your wife or daughter, would that be OK with you?

  Maybe if we were surrounded by women like the ones in these pictures, we would all feel more confident in these situations. If we embrace images of women being comfortable in their skin, size, faith, and, general womanhood, it could be just what the next generation of Mommies need.  Pictures, blogs, articles about being a strong, hot, mama, wife, and just pure lady. As a society, we need to encourage tasteful, classy, views of women in all her layers.

It must be gross because the picture
shows both of our skin.
Like here in Gustaf Klimt's painting.

   Being an artist all my life, I have paintings and compositions in my head to create, some floating around since my first was born 7 years ago. To be fair, I didn't set out to take that picture with my son. I was sneaking, 10 second timed boudoir shots, while the kids were outside with their Dad in the snow. (A surprise for Valentine's Day, where I actually show less skin than here! Way, way less. You see, I guess I will do more for art. Ha Ha Ha!) When the baby woke up in a great mood, I remembered a photo I had been wanting to do. My room was all set to go, no one was around, the clouds parted, a beam came down from heaven, and I got the shots.


  Perhaps it is because supposedly, it was not art. Understandably it is hard to find beauty or art in something that isn't painted, or sculpted.


Therefor,  these that I found from Beautiful Breastfeeding: 25 Stunning Photos From Around The World, would not qualify either.


Compared to these, my shot blushes. These amazing, gorgeous,


graceful women, showing the strength, beauty, and just the


plain fierceness it takes to bear, nurture, and protect our young.


To me, that is the most motherly, sensual thing you could do.


To embrace all the things these pictures show.


Maybe it is because in my quickness, you can see my garter belt?


Because, ya know, babies come from storks.


Or is it because of my tattoo?


I bet I know. It is because I am Christian.



Man, I just love this one with the machete.


Because weapons, babies,


and nursing,  definitely do NOT


belong in the same picture!


To be fair, I understand it is probably illegal to hunt naked while


nursing, because I don't live


in a tribe in Africa.

  

   The fact that I had the baby and looked smoking hot, made people feel uncomfortable. It turned people away. My heart was sad for those that couldn't see the beauty in it. It made me feel beautiful, and hoped others would be inspired to do the same. Yes, I was thrown off guard when people viewed it as dirty. Motherhood is not dirty. Making love to your husband is not dirty. Maybe the fact I am openly a Christian threw them off. Or that I potentially shared it with the world, a "dirty" picture of me and my baby. Absurd!

Don't get me wrong. I don't feel you should flaunt your boobies for the world to see. As much as I see the human body as beautiful and artistic, it is equally important to hold yourself as a prize. To be a lady and know what you are worth. On the flip side I never want to add to the temptation of someone to cheat. Keepin' it classy, ya know. 

  Will my Christian friends shun me?

 My quest was clear. My nerve was not. Then I thought to myself, "Why would I even think that?' Just because I believe in God, I can't be sexy, and be a Mom? Once you pop that sucker out, I guess you gotta bundle up, hunker down, and turn in your panties for granny's? Does the Bible even say anything that even sounds sexy? Isn't it just a bunch of stories and rules? Well, here are a few verses from the Song of Solomon.

1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth- for thy love is better than wine. 2:3 Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and they mouth is comely; they temples are like a pomegranate split open behind thy vei. 4 Thy neck is like the tower of David builded with turrets, whereon there hang a thousand shields, all the armour of the mighty men. 5 Thy two breasts are like two fawns that are twins of a gazelle, which feed among the lilies." 

Not doing it for ya? Those are more like a love poem. How about his one? Tell me this isn't a little hot?

"Delight in Jerusalem! Drink deeply of her glory even as an infant drinks at its mother's breasts." Isiah 66:11 

   The Bible embraces the beauty of motherhood. It recognizes the importance, and quite romantically describes the love making between a husband and wife. It even uses it as analogy for how deeply God/Jesus loves His people/church. Get this. A sexual analogy for the love of His people. Yes indeed, I think God wants us to embrace our relationship, every bit, and be confident and proud of it. Not hide in a closet. To embrace all of what it means to be a woman, in my opinion, is not frowned upon anywhere. To have a successful marriage, you need to have a healthy relationship in the bedroom, as well as all the other rooms in the house. Why should I hide this from my children? I want them to choose confident woman in their lives too. Someone who will proudly nurse her children, knowing how much life she is providing, and to have them be fully supportive of it. So I am mustering up the courage to share this picture with you. In hopes that the beauty I see in it, finds you. That there is a girl out there that needs to feel more comfortable in her skin. There is a Mom out there, who needs to feel attractive, that I can reach. That possibly, it could help a woman feel free enough to go out with her family, because she can nurse in public.  Even better yet, feeling beautiful, like hot mama, while doing it. A dream come true, would be to have people stand and applaud her.

    Drum Roll Please!! 

If you have made it this far, you deserve to see this highly controversial photograph. The moment you have all been waiting for!!!

I know! It is very shocking! 

 Suddenly I am feeling pretty empowered. So I am gonna share one even more shocking. 

   After all this, empowering the woman, I hope I haven't lost too many of you. Instead, I hope that you in turn stop judging and start encouraging each other. To be you. To be the many layers of you. Keep your standards high but embrace the nature of what it is to be a woman. Enjoy your curves, but enjoy the mystery.

  My friends, I hope you feel moved to comment or share. Kiss your babies! Love your men! Love each other!  Are you still there?!!